Times of Your Life

Read this story at The Kablogs Journal Issue 13

[Please hit play before reading]

Good morning, yesterday

You wake up and time has slipped away

And suddenly it's hard to find

The memories you left behind

Remember, do you remember?

It is just about four in the dawn before the sun rise and I am wide-awake thinking of so many things I have to do for the whole day. Like as always, I start my day with a morning prayer. A prayer of gratitude for past seasons and the blessings bestowed. It is also a prayer of guidance not only for me but also for the woman I always love, my precious Grace. After the prayer and a little cup of coffee but no breakfast at all, and quick bathing -I'm ready and off to go to office.

The laughter and the tears

The shadows of misty yesteryears

The good times and the bad you've seen

And all the others in between

Remember, do you remember

The times of your life? (do you remember?)

I don’t have a habit of eating a breakfast. I'm actually waiting for few hours to fill this stupid belly of mine. And maybe because that is what I always do. Well, now somehow, I'm able to eat my breakfast. Not like when I was in college, I only had coffee in the morning, just hamburger and iced tea at lunch and nothing more. I do not really fully conceive how I (we) greatly surpassed those harshness of life. I have five siblings. During those troubled days, I and my Ate were both in College; three were in High School and one in Elementary. My mom, at that time, was not working because she’s the only one doing the house chores and taking care to all of us and there was only one person working for us, my father. My father was just a porter in the market. Can you even think how much the income of a porter in the market is? For him to courageously send his six children in school all at once. Allow me to say these things in Tagalog: “ito ang pagkakataon na gusto kong ipagmalaki sa buong mundo. Na kahit magkanda-kuba na siya sa kakatrabaho, pinilit niya na igapang kami para lamang makapagtapos. At sa kanyang pagpapanaw, may kwento akong maibabahagi at maipagmamalaki sa buong mundo at sa magiging anak ko na ako ay pinagtapos hindi ng mayamang tao kundi ng isang marangal na kargador, isang ama na may paninindigan, pagmamahal at mataas na pangarap para sa kanyang anak.”

Reach out for the joy and the sorrow

Put them away in your mind

The mem'ries are time that you borrow

To spend when you get to tomorrow

“Ma! Ito po ung bayad, Pantranco !" I was riding in a Jeepney going to office. It seems that I’m too early, so instead of going straight to the office with another ride, I decided to walk from Pantranco to Tomas Morato to barely sweat and reduce some weight. While walking, I can’t avoid seeing children in the streets and said to myself that I am lucky. Yes, I am lucky, a fortunate one. I think I'm still fortunate that I didn’t lead to this kind of life. I'm fortunate that even my school allowance or “baon” was only Fifty pesos and Twenty-six pesos part of it goes to transportation fares, I was able to survive in a day and ate a burger and iced tea. I'm still fortunate and I'm not begging and working on the road. I'm still fortunate and have a nipa hut-like house. I was fortunate because I and my siblings were never left by our parents. I'm still fortunate that even though we have this kind of trial, we remained together, kept intact with memories of my dad.

Here comes the saddest part (comes the saddest part)

The seasons are passing one by one

So gather moments while you may

Collect the dreams you dream today

Remember, will you remember

The times of your life?

Let say our life now is far better than before but I can’t say that we became rich because I don’t have amount of money that I can be proud of. Unlike before, I and my mom are gathering pieces of twenty five centavos just to buy a sachet of coffee and 1/4 pound of sugar but now we are somehow able to buy groceries. Unlike before, my “baon” was only Fifty pesos and I need to tighten my belt, stretch the Fifty pesos to survive the day in school but now I have my own money to buy things that I want. If in the past I don’t have contact number, now I have two mobile phones and a bonus landline. If in the past, I only have shoes given by my cousins, now I have five different pairs and kinds - all are branded and I can say I bought it of my own. If in the past, we are so worried when my mom got sick because we have don’t money for health checkups and medicine, now there is money allocated for health plans. If in the past, I often have stomachaches due to hunger and because I often eat not in time, now I still often have stomachaches but that is because I ate too much. If in the past I never received Christmas gifts, now I still never received any but this time I am who can give.

I can say that we have a better life now and can battle the challenges of life and that it is through the help of education and the literary world from my father's blessings.

We, people often have complaints and angst in life. We are not satisfied with things we already have. We always complain that our cell phone was too old and obsolete. We’re also complaining that our PC monitor was not flat-screened. We complain that we don’t have laptop. We’re tired riding a taxi/cab because we don’t have a car. We are upset because our coffee is not from Starbucks and it was just a sachet of Nescafe. Well, we are fortunate because we have these things but how about those people who don’t have any? Yes, we are still lucky – fortunate indeed. If you can read this, then you are lucky too because you don’t have to suffer like those children sleeping in the streets.

Where am I now? It seems that I am too far from yesterday. But I'm still here, standing with my heads up, ready to face the world and every challenge - ready for the next stage, for the next change.

Gather moments while you may

Collect the dreams you dream today

Remember, will you remember

The times of your life?

Do you remember, baby

Do you remember the times of your life?

[credits: Music and lyrics by Paul Anka]